22
Sep
2014

I’m so tired of being alone
These penitent walls are all I’ve known
Songbird calling across the water
Inside my silent asylum…

Posted 1 week agoFiled Under: #beck #blue moon #music #kieran price
22
Sep
2014

Always On My Mind // Chase & Kieran

rutherfordchase:

Surprised to hear Kieran’s voice when they’d spent so much time communicating only in letters, Chase rose from his cot, making his way to the bars. When he got to the bars, he leaned up against them, the sight of Kieran making him smile.

image

The bloke looked exhausted, and Chase wanted to smother him in blankets and make him a million cups of tea. But he still smiled, because even with the bags under his eyes, Kieran still looked gorgeous.

"What, you want to put that promise to the test?" he quipped, poking at the lock on the door. "I mean, I know nothing about lock-picking, but I can try."

When Chase came to the bars, he couldn’t help the fond smile on his face. “You’re still a bloody fool, Chase. I just wanted to look upon you. That’s all.” He said simply, reaching a hand out of the bars before gripping to them as if to hug the cold metal close. “I don’t know what the Masters do to you, Chase, but I believe that you’re stronger than their manipulations and overabundance of domination. You’ve got the spirit of a fighter and I know you won’t let them break you. If a Master does rent you, don’t let them have the satisfaction of harming you like I have given them.”

"You still look like a vision, even if you give off a vibe that says you’re a bit torn and bored."

Posted 1 week ago25 notesVIA / SOURCEFiled Under: #chase
22
Sep
2014

Always On My Mind // Chase & Kieran

rutherfordchase:

Chase took a moment to breathe out a sigh of relief, rubbing his thumb over where Kieran had written his name, like he could somehow reach through the words and the cell bars and touch the man himself.

Kieran,

Thank God. I know Kevin; he is indeed a good man. One of the best, and I’m glad that he has found you, and you have found him.

Surely, if anybody could help Kieran and the troubles his over-active brain tended to give him, it would be a medical doctor? At least, Chase hoped so.

Nothing ‘maybe’ about it. Definitely. I don’t know when I will next be rented, but I’ll do what I can to see you. Even if I have to break out of this cell to do so.

-C.M.R.

He couldn’t help the smile at the letter, knowing that Chase’s determination to see him was soothing at some point. Slowly getting up from his spot on the ground, he kept the letter to himself and decided to speak instead. He wanted to hear his voice, to see him directly without words and voices filling his head. Kieran’s dark rings around his eyes only caused the nearly black irises to stand out more.

"Chase." He said simply, wanting to see his fellow slave. "Could you please look at me?"

Posted 1 week ago25 notesVIA / SOURCEFiled Under: #chase
22
Sep
2014

Always On My Mind // Chase & Kieran

rutherfordchase:

Kieran,

Of course you can confide in me. I cannot say that I will always be able to give useful advice, but I can endeavor to at least try to be marginally helpful.

By this point, the end of his pen was starting to look rather mangled with how much he’d absently chewed at it—a fate that all of his pens tended to suffer.

He was, however, smiling absently as he wrote, reassured by the simple, logical way they had sketched out the complicated issue of feelings between them.

When you say ‘once I’m out of here permanently’, do you mean the cells and a permanent claiming? It’s not jealousy that leads me to ask, merely curiosity. And, alright, I will admit, some concern, as I would not want to see you claimed by an awful Master. If any such awful arseholes attempt to do so, I’ll give them a stern talking to.

-C.M.R.

He could hear the concern coming from Chase just by reading this letter. Kieran knew who was going to claim him and it happened to be one of the Masters who actually gives a shit about him. Chase needn’t worry about him but Kieran couldn’t help but feel a bit bashful at the other’s concern for him.

Chase,

Darling, you have no reason to worry. I know who will be taking me home one day. It’s the head doctor of this place, Kevin. He’s a sweet man and I’ve known him for years. He’s offered to rent me and then if things work out, claim me. You have no reason to give Kevin a stern talking to since he is a sweet man.

You don’t need to give me advice, Chase. I appreciate that you will listen, though, since I am feeling rather stuck in this voluntary insomnia. Maybe, when we’re both out of here, we can see each other? I couldn’t bare the thought of someone not letting us see one another.

- Kieran

Posted 1 week ago25 notesVIA / SOURCEFiled Under: #chase
20
Sep
2014

dr-kevin-jeung:

[Kevin looked at Kieran, noticing how much calmer the man seemed to be and silently hoped he would be asleep soon.] Exactly how you explained. Except I was taking men home so much, it was beginning to disrupt their revenue somewhat. [He said with a soft shrug. Honestly, Kevin felt they had been a bit harder on him than they would have on someone else. But they had never been very fond of Kevin in the first place for all the trouble he had and could still cause.] I’ve never rented because I do not wish to put money into this system. I want to help you all, but helping to fund all of this would go against it. [He explained, shaking his head slowly as he talked.] But I would rent you for however long you want. This is to help you, to keep you safe. 

image

((Kieran listened, taking in what the man was saying it caused a small smile to grow on his face.)) So you’re telling me you disrupted the economic growth of this city? Well, Kevin, I have to say you are one hell of an activist. ((He joked, chuckling softly before resting his head against the man’s shoulder once more.)) I do understand your need for not paying for a claiming nor a rental. But, honestly, wouldn’t it be best to pay for a slave so you know they’re safe? I don’t believe money will fix all issues because if it did, Bernard wouldn’t currently be in his situation. But, to save a life, it’s priceless. I don’t believe I can be as submissive as I have been before…because I don’t want to keep coming back here anymore. I want out, Kevin. And you know me better than anyone else in this building. I’ve never been one to fight being in here but as of late, I want to be in a bed and sharing it with a man I know will show me a world that I never thought possible. And that world, Kevin, is freedom.

Posted 1 week ago39 notesVIA / SOURCEFiled Under: #kevin
20
Sep
2014

dr-kevin-jeung:

[He smirked faintly and shook his head slowly, knowing Kieran was smart enough to figure out what happened on his own.] Suspension? For normal cases, I suppose. But I’ve been banned from it altogether. [He said, looking back to Kieran.] Yes, I would. I have yet to rent a slave. [He added, sharing that small tidbit of information with him.]

image

Why’ve you been banned? ((He asked, leaning against Kevin still as he looked into his eyes.)) How come you haven’t rented? Has no one appealed to you? Or is it because of your morals that you have? I know how you feel about the slaves and Masters, Kevin. I can it in your actions towards us. If you do rent me, though, how long would it be?

Posted 1 week ago39 notesVIA / SOURCEFiled Under: #kevin
20
Sep
2014

dr-kevin-jeung:

[He sighs softly, still keeping his arms around Kieran. Kevin didn’t want anyone to worry over him, but he was smart enough to realize he had no power over that sort of thing But bickering with Kieran wasn’t going to help anyone, so he left the conversation where it was.] I’m actually not allowed to do the twenty-four hour one any longer…

image

((Hearing how Kevin wasn’t allowed to do the twenty-four hour trial, he looked to him with a puzzled look.)) You took too many slaves, didn’t you? From what I know about the laws, excessive use of the twenty-four hour rentals results in suspension. So…I’d assume you’d have to rent me, is that correct?

Posted 1 week ago39 notesVIA / SOURCEFiled Under: #kevin
20
Sep
2014

Always On My Mind // Chase & Kieran

rutherfordchase:

Kieran,

I wouldn’t say that it’s illogical to break the rules of this city. You already know how I feel about them—I feel still more obliged to break them in the name of the affection I have for you.

Chase chewed on the end of his pen again, trying to figure out how to put down what he was feeling. He wanted to make promises, because Kieran deserved them, but he had no idea if he would able to keep them.

I would not willingly leave. Although god knows I might, considering my aptitutude for pissing off the Masters of this city. I’m fairly certain it will result in my death at some point

Hmm. Perhaps he wouldn’t put that.

Suddenly I’m filled with rather fond memories of the ‘sexual part’, as you put it. Perhaps you should hold onto those memories—they may grant you pleasant dreams instead of the nightmares that have been plaguing you.

-C.M.R.

The letter did make him smile more, even blushing as he thought of Chase breaking the rules in order to honor their newly acknowledge feelings for one another. Kieran, interestingly enough, would break them as well to show Chase how much he did care for him.

Chase,

You are sweet, do you know this? I would honor such rebellion as I would do the same in return to show the fondness I have for you.

And, honestly, I wouldn’t willingly leave. We both know how terrible it is to have someone leave us behind. If you become distant, expect me to never back down but only enforce my feelings for you. I could never leave you behind like others have done in the past. It’d be terrible of me.

You’ve made me chuckle at your comment about the “sexual part” since I know I will always have those memories. I have tried, though, to use them but they manifest so quickly. I’ll have relief once I’m out of here permanently. I just need to get past it, open up myself to those I trust. Perhaps, from time to time, I can open up to you?

 - Kieran

Posted 1 week ago25 notesVIA / SOURCEFiled Under: #chase
20
Sep
2014

Always On My Mind // Chase & Kieran

rutherfordchase:

Kieran,

Different reactions, same feelings. I don’t blush, unfortunately. I consider myself old enough and ugly enough and experienced with break-ups enough to have dispensed with blushing. But I crave closeness like you do.

But yes, I am hesitant. Because I jump into these things head first and wind up making the other person leave. (Or driving them to cheat, which has happened a few times).

At least his panic had eased. Chase almost laughed, because it was calming, talking about this so matter-of-factly with Kieran, dissecting it like was a lab specimen. Perhaps talking about this sort of thing was much easier with two scientific minds.

If I begged you to allow me to take this slowly, would you allow that? I don’t want to label what we have. I can’t make the promise that I would give you everything you want, because I can’t predict what the future holds for us in this city. But I want the closeness that you want to.

-C.M.R.

The letter was enough to ease Kieran’s aching heart, to let him know that Chase did return the feelings but in a far different way. Leaning more against the bar, he pressed his head against them in the direction of Chase as if to let the other know that he was thinking about him and wishing for him to be close.

Chase,

To have you so close would be a dream come true, darling. I know this is incredibly unconventional…our situation. We don’t need to label a thing but we can express our feelings in letters and other aspects. No one needs to justify this, not a soul has to take it from us. If you do find another, though, I won’t be upset. I’ll be hurt but I won’t cause a scene. I’m one who knows how to love and let go when it needs to happen…but I’d do anything to have your hand in mine until the end of time.

I won’t leave you, Chase, because men have always left me. I know how it feels, to have those you care for dump you repeatedly. It happened to me more than just twice. It’s been plenty.

You don’t need to beg, my darling, because I want to take things as slow as you. We’ve already gone past the sexual part. I can’t predict the future but we can only have our letters, the bookstore we met at, and many other places if we aren’t allowed to see one another. I know this is completely illogical to go against the rules of the city but to spend moments like we had in my bedroom and in our workspace…I’d go to the ends of the Universe and back for it.

 - Kieran

Posted 1 week ago25 notesVIA / SOURCEFiled Under: #chase
20
Sep
2014

Always On My Mind // Chase & Kieran

rutherfordchase:

Waiting for the reply letter gave Chase time to calm down, at least. He didn’t manage to get his breathing completely back to normal, but it was better than the near-nothing he’d had before.

Kieran,

You spoke of feelings. They are reciprocated.

Because he had to be honest. Kieran deserved honesty, and he deserved to know that there was at least one person in the world that didn’t want to tear him down.

But you also spoke of wanting someone that can provide, and I cannot provide, in any sense of the word. I am a slave. A ‘rabid’ one, going by what the guards say of me. I cannot give you a home, nor safety, nor quality of life. I want the best for you, and it grieves me that I cannot provide it.

I have had many relationships, and I ruined them. I ruined the men that I was with, for they would have been better off had they never been with me. I don’t want to ruin you too.

And yet, I still want to spend time with you. I still want to hold your hand and get a headache as you speak of academics far above my level. Is that selfish of me? To know that I would be awful for you, and to want closeness still?

-C.M.R.

The letter brought a fond smile to Kieran’s expression but tears didn’t cease. Rubbing at his eyes, he thought over the letter and knew that his friend needed to be told to stop being a fool, that not everyone was the same. He cared about him and to help him realize that Kieran wasn’t going to give up on him. Not for a long shot, really.

Chase,

They are? When I smile in your direction, your heart pounds? When I hold your hand, you blush? I just want to make sure you are feeling this way…or feeling what I feel but with different reactions.

Don’t listen to those imbeciles, darling. You don’t need their approval. You taught me that I shouldn’t have to please every person in this world, that I should be able break a few rules now than then. You have shown me that I can be my own man and that there are those who appreciate my intelligence.

You may have had relationships fail in the past but that’s because those people gave up, I’m sure. I’m not a quitter, Chase. You’ve seen how I work and when I’m in a relationship, I know I’ll do everything I can to resolve all issues. I want to try at least, Chase.

It’s not selfish, not at all, because I want that with you. Your level of imagination is superior to my own and your ideas are magnificent. I want to be able to hold your hand like we had done many times before. I want to entwine our legs as we sleep in the same bed. Please, I want to try. I want a man to provide a life…and quite frankly, do you believe that what we’re doing is living? I don’t think so. I want a man to hold me as I hold him, to kiss me when I kiss him. I’m selfish, really, because I want all of those things but with a man who seems to be hesitant.

 - Kieran

Posted 1 week ago25 notesVIA / SOURCEFiled Under: #chase